Unexpected Gifts: Discovering and Nurturing the Strengths in Every Child

Have you ever been around a child who exhibits puzzling behavior? This child might be your own or a child of one of your friends. While this child might appear to be very precocious in a variety of areas, some of the child’s behavior might be difficult to manage and hard to understand. It is at this point of misunderstanding, that these children are frequently labeled as ADHD instead of possibly gifted.

However, just recently, Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted (SENG), an international nonprofit organization, embarked upon an international campaign to educate and enlighten parents, teachers and pediatricians about “possible misdiagnosis of ADHD in gifted children.” The importance of their efforts to educate us all about the potential misdiagnosis follows a new American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) guideline that “extends the range of ADHD diagnosis from ages 6-12 to 4-18. The problem with this, according to SENG, is that it does not include the reality that “a child’s intellectual giftedness may contribute to symptoms similar to ADHD. Thus, precocious preschoolers may be at even greater risk for misdiagnosis.”

Parents of all preschoolers and older children who may exhibit both precocious and puzzling behavior will benefit from seeing a video SENG posted recently on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XN7IOteagI This video will provide parents of gifted children tools to better obtain the understanding, support and advocacy their uniquely gifted children need as they navigate the world. Please share it with all of your family, friends, schools and your pediatricians.

So much depends upon all of our children, including those who are gifted and twice-exceptional who may exhibit puzzling behavior, receive the acceptance, respect and education they deserve without the dangers of unneeded medication.

Has your child has ever been the target of direct bullying, either physical or verbal? Has your child ever been a target of relational aggression, the more hidden and behind the scenes bullying where social exclusion and gossip are just a few of the negative and hurtful tactics that are used?

Well, it is good to know that there are numerous effective tools you can utilize that can make a huge difference when your child encounters bullying behavior. With these tools, parents and schools can equip and empower all children and parents to take a stand against bullying. One of these tools is the resource-filled web site, StopBullying.gov., sponsored by the federal government.

According to StopBullying.gov, http://www.stopbullying.gov/, “Bullying is not a normal rite of passage. It can have serious consequences. You can help your child learn how to prevent bullying. These tips can help:
• Help your child understand bullying. Explain what bullying is. It is more than physical; it can be done in person or over the phone or computer.
• Keep open lines of communication with your child. Check in with your child and listen to any concerns about friends and other students.
• Encourage your child to pursue their interests. Doing what they love may help your child be more confident among their peers and make friends with other kids with similar interests.
• Teach your child to take a stand against bullying. Give guidance about how to stand up to those who bully if it is safe to do so.
• Talk to your child about seeking help from a trusted adult when feeling threatened by a bully. Talk about whom they should go to for help and role-play what they should say. Assure your child that they should not be afraid to tell an adult when someone they know is being bullied.
• Know what is going on in your child’s school. Visit the school website, subscribe to the student paper—if there is one—and join the PTA listserv or mailing list. Get to know other parents, school counselors, and staff. Contact the school by phone or e-mail if you have suggestions to make the school a safer and better learning place.”

The first key to your ability to stand up against bullying is to recognize the bullying situation that you might have experienced/ witnessed as a child or are experiencing/witnessing right now as an adult. And once you have been able to develop the communication skills of assertiveness (speaking with respect and clarity/boundaries), self-control and empathy/compassion (understanding another person’s pain/perspective), you will be able to equip your own child with these skills. Then you and your child will be able to fully leverage the StopBullying.gov tools and take a stand against bullying. If you do, then know that you have demonstrated a sense of courage and boldness that will make our world a safer and saner planet for everyone.

Who knows what is best for a child? Do you think just classroom teachers or parents, who collaborate with teachers and outside support resources, might know better how to address a child’s learning challenge? These are the very questions I discussed with a concerned mom who called me last week.

She wanted to know what I thought of a teacher who would say “I am concerned about your child’s ability to ever reach his full potential. While I am not recommending meds for your child, I want to share some success stories of students I know who did go on meds for ADHD.”

The mom said she was truly surprised and caught off guard by the teacher’s remarks and asked me for my reaction. My response, that a teacher was not qualified to even “hint” at the appropriateness of meds for a child, brought a sense of relief to this mom.

She felt relieved because she said her son had changed and grown so much since 1st grade when he was first identified with ADHD. She described his truly amazing gifts in music and art and shared the fact that he had recently scored quite high in standardized tests in reading and math.

Truly this mom could see, as I could after listening to her tell me about her son, all the strengths and gifts her 9 year old son possessed. She rightly wanted to find other strategies to help her son deal with the moments of classroom distractibility instead of starting him on medication.

Since we both agreed that the teacher was not qualified to recommend or “hint” at the need for meds, I provided her with a list of psycho-educational testers who are familiar with students who are both gifted and twice-exceptional (gifted with learning differences) to find out more accurately his learning strengths and challenges. Since many gifted children are frequently misdiagnosed and not identified as gifted but labeled as ADHD, a second opinion is quite useful in determining what truly is behind a child’s behavior.

So if you ever find yourself as a parent in a similar situation, be sure to seek a second opinion. If you aren’t sure where to start, feel free to contact me at mindsthatsoar@gmail.com and I will be happy to send you a list of 2e friendly psycho-educational testers who work in various regions of the U.S. and Canada and I will be happy to answer your questions during a no-charge consultation.

And if you want a great resource if you suspect there might be a misdiagnosis of your own child, consider reading Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults:

http://www.amazon.com/Misdiagnosis-Diagnoses-Gifted-Children-Adults/dp/0910707642

Remember, as your child’s parent, you truly do know what is best. Trust your instincts and collaborate with the school and outside resources. This truly is the best response when it comes to figuring out what works best for your child.

In her October 27, 2011, post on Edutopia’s blog, Audrey Watters wrote an entry titled “Should We Be Concerned about an “App Gap?” She commented on statistics from Common Sense Media that demonstrate an “app gap” is developing between children living in high income families and those living in low income families.

Watters wondered if this “app gap” is any different than our concerns over the “digital divide.” And she asks the question as to whether or not access to software on an iPad is superior to that of a PC.

Her question raises some important issues given some of the findings regarding mobile learning devices like iPads, iPods, iPod Touch and smart phones and their ability to personalize learning for a wide range of students.

Countless studies have demonstrated that student engagement in learning increases and that even our youngest students are able to learn basic skills more quickly with a portable, small device with touch-screen capabilities.

While sitting at a PC might work for some of our learners, educators know that all of students are uniquely designed and for a growing number of students mobile learning devices grant educational equity by providing access to and acceleration of the curriculum.

So yes, Audrey, we should be concerned about the “app gap.” It reminds us of our responsibility as a society to provide equal educational opportunities for every student in America and to be advocates for the same educational opportunities for children around the globe.

Yesterday, I came back from New Orleans where I attended and presented at the National Association for Gifted Children’s 58th Annual Convention. It was another wonderful learning experience and a time to network with so many individuals involved with gifted education.
What I really enjoyed was the chance to hear the different perspectives of people from around the world who care very deeply about the education of all children. In talking with fellow educators and parents, it was clear that they would love to have their voices heard more clearly by school administrators and legislators. And they would like to see some changes take place in our schools now so that all children can benefit immediately from some very fundamental and research-driven changes.
Here’s just a sampling of some of the thoughts that were shared this past week at the conference:

1. Pay attention to implementing strategies and programs that reflect best practices and educational equality for all students. There is plenty of research and information that is available to help teachers identify and serve the unique learning needs of every child, including those who are gifted and twice-exceptional (gifted students with learning differences, including dyslexia, ADHD and sensory processing difficulties). Students need to have both access to and acceleration of the curriculum.

2. Put all of our children at the center of the learning equation by leveraging technology to provide personalized instruction which Karen Cator, U.S. National Director of Educational Technology, has indicated is essential if we are to transform teaching and learning.

3. Help parents and teachers to teach all children that learning takes effort over time and increases when children encouraged are to become self-directed and self-reliant. Once our children are given more choice to follow their passions and their interests, their motivation to learn will increase and they will be able to advance towards their true potential.

4. Please provide effective professional development opportunities so teachers can deliver 21st Century teaching and what ed tech blogger David Warlick describes as “irresistible, relevant and rigorous learning experiences” to all students.

5. Make equitable educational funding a priority and understand that educating all of our children is essential for a strong economy, national security and maintaining a position of global influence in world affairs.

6. Encourage parents to get involved in advocating for educational change in a way that demonstrates positive communication skills, including assertiveness (clear and respectful language), self-control and empathy. As school administrators and legislators, model these characteristics to your customers, the parents, and constituents. Let’s all take the high road and show our children that civility in a society always matters.

Just like the people around the world participating in the Occupy movement, parents and educators everywhere are beginning to get rather weary of waiting for change to happen in our schools. They are ready to speak up. They are ready to Occupy the Schoolyard to respectively, collectively and persistently make their voices heard.

If you are one of those voices, contact your schools and your legislators and let them know what you are thinking. Most importantly, be sure to register and vote in the 2012 election. By getting involved and voting in 2012, you can send your state and national legislators and leaders the clear message that making the education of our children a priority has never been more important.

Imagine how difficult it would be if your child had communication challenges. These difficulties are common among children with diverse learning profiles. How would you be able to know what your child needed or might be feeling? And how would your child manage to reach his/her true potential as a diverse learner without a quick and easy way to express his/her thoughts and ideas?

Just a few years ago your choices were limited. But now with the explosion in mobile learning devices and apps, all parents have a choice in helping to advance their child’s potential.

One of the most frequently mentioned mobile apps for overcoming communication barriers is Proloquo2go. The Proloquo2go website provides this description of this incredible app:
“Proloquo2Go™ is a product from AssistiveWare that provides a full-featured communication solution for people who have difficulty speaking. It brings natural sounding text-to-speech voices, close to 8000 up-to-date symbols, powerful automatic conjugations, a large default vocabulary, full expandability and extreme ease of use to the iPhone, iPod touch and iPad.”

Of course, if you check out YouTube, you will find numerous videos showing this app in action. The videos are quite inspiring and give you a glimpse of the potential impact Proloquo2go can have to provide a communication pathway for many individuals, especially those living with autism. While this app works to open up communication channels, it is worth noting that it is mentioned in at least one of the videos that each autistic learner responds in an individual way and the app doesn’t help all autistic learners to the same degree.

However, Proloquo2go definitely does offer the possibility it will be a helpful app to many individuals living with autism. It provides the needed hope to parents of autistic learners that once communication has been opened up and increased, their children might just be able to advance to their true potential. No parent could ask for more.

While so much of the world is excited about the iPad 2 and the new Kindle Fire, an Android/color version of the popular Kindle, according to Audrey Watters, author of the October 11th MindShift article, “Can a $35 Tablet Be as Effective a Learning Tool as an iPad?” two even more attention-getting tablets are now being made available. Both are set at a price that will truly level the educational playing field for millions of children across the globe.

The I-slate, developed by researchers at Rice University and the Nanyang Technological University in Singapore, is a solar powered, electronic version of the chalkboard slates in use around the world. Its price is expected to be less than $50.00 once it is mass-produced.

Another tablet option, with a 3 hour battery life, is the Android 2.2 Aakash tablet, developed by a British company, Data/Wind in partnership with the Indian government. The Aakash has a 7 inch screen, 2 USB ports, 256 Ram and 2 GB of flash memory. Its distribution is being supported by the government with plans to put all 220 million Indian students online with the ability to browse the web, use software applications and have access to e-books. With subsidies from the Indian government, the cost of the tablet is expected to be $35.00.

As Watters points out, the I-slate and Aakash are all about affordability and most importantly, accessibility to learning. It is the accessibility that mobile learning brings to every unique learner that makes the recent influx of competing tablets on the market such an exciting prospect for our children everywhere.

With a $35.00 tablet now available and a goal set to drive the prices down even further, it is children everywhere who are getting closer and closer to the day when educational equality is at last a reality and not just a dream.

With the death of Steve Jobs on Thursday, it is worth hoping that his creative genius and spirit remains in bits and pieces within all of us, if we all would just follow his honest and wise advice given in 2005 at Stanford’s commencement:

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

How many of us are truly pursuing our dreams or following our intuition about what we might do best with our lives? And if we, as parents, grandparents and teachers, aren’t setting an example for our children and students, then who will?

May Steve Jobs’ life – and untimely early death – be an inspiration and catalyst to us to begin to pursue our gifts, strengths and passions. In the process we may discover, as David Shenk titled his 2010 book, The Genius in All of Us. We may not leave an imprint quite as large as Steve Jobs – but each of us can have a lasting impact that will make a difference for our world – each in our own uniquely gifted way.

Does your child race into the house after school and then disappear into a world of technology – TV watching, texting, video game playing, surfing the Internet? If this sounds familiar then Ann Dolin, author of Homework Made Simple, has some solutions on how to set boundaries with technology:
1. During a family meeting establish and write out the expectations and routines for technology use at home.
2. Allow 30 minutes of screen time after school and then turn it off until homework, dinner, chores and non-screen time activity has been completed.
3. Keep computer with internet in public places to monitor its use.
4. Determine maximum screen time daily. For elementary and junior high students 60 to 90 minutes is reasonable.

Remember that as a parent you pay for and consequently control all screen-based technology in your home. You can use it as a tool for learning and as a reward for meeting agreed upon expectations – expectations meant to instill valuable work habits in your children that will help them succeed in school and their adult lives.

What online game strives to tap into the collective brainpower of a crowd, requires no prior scientific knowledge but strives to solve complex scientific mysteries. Here’s a clue – this online game was recently instrumental in helping scientists move forward in the development of anti-Aids drugs. It is certainly a game any parent might welcome their teenager playing – especially with the potential of their teen being part of a team that finds a cure for a disease like cancer and without being a trained researcher.
The name of the game is Foldit – an amazing protein folding game for learners of any age who love problem solving, spatial reasoning and who have a strong intuition and willingness to take risks within the game. It’s a game that is free from violence and inappropriate images but nevertheless has attracted quite a following of gamers who now share the distinction of being the first online gamers, according to Katia Moskvitch, a writer for the BBC News, “to solve a longstanding scientific problem.”
You can learn more by checking out this link, http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=foldit-gamers-solve-riddle, where you can read about this intriguing game.
So if you are a parent who has been concerned about your teen’s interest in online gaming, perhaps Foldit is worth your time to explore yourself. Once you become acquainted with it, you might even join in on the challenge with your teen and who knows? You and your teen might help solve the next scientific puzzle that has been put out to the crowds of online gamers.